tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22149029606831825502024-02-20T05:29:31.234-08:00In Writinga galloping snippetCrabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-6056081995412188842009-03-16T19:27:00.000-07:002009-03-16T19:28:50.376-07:00The MoonThey told him that the deeper south and further from the coast he goes the closer he’d get to an authentic Mexico. The closer he’d get to a Mexican identity that goes beyond the stark and chain linked comparison with the United States that you find in the North and in the tourist destinations of the coasts. They also told him, don’t go to Mexico. It’s dangerous. You’ll be decapitated.<br /><br />Victor didn’t quite know what advice would help him, so he ignored everything. He found a small town in the state of Jalisco called Cholula. His research went as far as examining buses in the Mexico City bus terminal and finding one with a hanging crucified Jesus on a CD that he found to be interesting. Little did he know that was to be the first of thousands of crucified CD’s he would see in Mexico.<br /><br />Once he got off the bus, he found a small room to rent up a flight of stairs. He could easily afford the thirty-dollar rent with his grandfather’s monthly stipend, and though there was always the smell of burning tires wafting through the window, the room would suffice.<br />In the first day, he quickly learned a fact about Cholula that his research had overlooked. The heat. It was the hottest that Victor had ever been in his life. He didn’t think the human body could withstand such temperatures and sun like the temperature and sun in Cholula. Every corner of his body sweat and sweat hard, as if it were bleeding. They say Cholula is where the devil goes for winter holiday, but no one had told Victor this.<br /><br />Victor thought about leaving, but the heat made him lazy. It was the heat that made him stay.<br />The small room he rented was all white. White washed walls, white tile floor and dirty white sheets. Only the flies and Victor himself added any color to the whiteness of his room, that and the dark smell of burning tires. The white kept it cooler, well it made him think it was cooler, like how mirrors make places seem bigger, the whiteness only made the intense heat of Cholula seem cooler.<br /><br />They say that it was the heat of Cholula that had sweated all the sin out of Victor. He didn’t pray and he didn’t do anything especially saintly, in fact he didn’t do much of anything. All his sin had simply left him. It had been sweated out and Victor did nothing to replace it with cool fresh sin.<br />The little Victor did to fill his days was to collect glass, absentmindedly and with no real purpose. Glass from the street, discarded, rounded shreds of coke bottles and mason jars, but mostly beer bottles, chelas and kaguamas. He stayed away from the brown glass, he didn’t like it very much, but the green, the turquoise and the clear he would extend the effort to reach into the hot dirt of Cholula and pick it up. At first, his collection blanketed the small table in his room and then it spilled over onto the floor of his room and piled in a corner.<br /><br />He grew a mustache. He walked into the dozen or so cool, neoned churches around his apartment and made a point not to pray. He watched the neighbor women from his window yell at turkeys and do the laundry. He did nothing too rigorous, because of the heat.<br /><br />One night Victor slept with a woman. He wasn’t quite sure how he managed that. She was the same age as Victor, but she seemed older and better than Victor, so he called her a Woman. She amazed Victor. When she slept on her side the curve of her hip was so round and spilled so dramatically into her waist he didn’t think that women were actually made like that. And even when she slept, her long dark hair spilled across the bed. It was like mud, thought Victor, the most beautiful mud he had ever seen.<br /><br />When the Woman first came over, she came on the premise that she wanted to see the glass collection that Victor spoke quietly about in the loud bar. Her limited English and her beauty had suggested to Victor that she would have nothing to do with him. But as the story goes, she would.<br /><br />Victor was surprised when she sat on his bed. There wasn’t any other place to sit in the white room, but all the same it surprised him to see her sitting there in the moonlight. It was the first time Victor had ever felt cool in Cholula. It was like this Woman quietly told the sun to go home. Didn’t ask him, but just quietly allowed him to leave, “Now you can go”, she must have cooed. It was Victor’s first real night in Cholula.<br /><br />The Woman stayed the entire next day twisting the bed sheet and arranging the glass. She stayed there almost every night. The Woman was making Victor human again. He began to actually do things. He began to read, go out with the Woman and her friends and listen to the Woman speak Spanish. He began to understand which sounds were verbs and nouns and he began to identify his Spanish words with actual objects and concepts, not just English words.<br />He found some glue and started fixing the glass shards to the walls. He quickly found a pattern in the glass on his walls and he began to expand it. He saw a wave and fish and he began to make an ocean on his walls. His room became cooler and cooler. He bought an extra sheet for them to use at night, it was getting that much cooler.<br /><br />The Woman was getting more and more beautiful the more he knew her. At first, it was the curve of her hips and her tits, but now it was the line in her cheek when she smiled and the mole behind her left ear that Victor loved. When they were sweating in plastic bar chairs or walking to the market, he would want the world to stop so he could feel, kiss the lines of her smile, the bump of her mole. But he never did. Instead, he would walk a step behind to keep an eye on her. Make sure she wasn’t going to float away, sway away in some non existent Cholula breeze.<br />A few weeks went by and Victor noticed how much colder it was getting. In the mornings, his toes would be cold, he would have to fold his arms around his core and wear a sweater the Woman bought for him that looked like a dishrag.<br /><br />The mosaic was growing bigger and bigger. It spilled up onto the ceiling and the Woman said that once he finished he should start another one outside on the stucco wall of his apartment. She led him outside and spread her arms out wide against the cool white wall. “Here,” she said. As he stood behind her, Victor breathed in a smell he had never before. It was like lemons and bread and hibiscus all together. And the Woman, like a simple lizard cooling on the wall was lemons. She was bread and she was the hibiscus. Victor, in his dishrag, stood in the Cholula sun cool and in love.<br /><br />It was the next day, or maybe the day after when he finished his mosaic and a shiver ran down his spine. He was placing and gluing glass shards thinking of the Woman and how he would show her what he had finished, with her help. He could imagine her cool, brown arms in his and her smile, the little lines in her face. And then a shiver ran through him. The shiver. He never showed her the finished mosaic.<br /><br />That afternoon, without really knowing why, he got on the same bus with the crucified CD and left Cholula. The road out of town was bumpy and made of dirt and with his insides already squirmy, once he got to Mexico City he vomited in a gutter. He proceeded to buy an expensive plane ticket and went back to where he came from, either Chicago or Toronto. It didn’t matter. Maybe it was even New York. There it was colder, the heat wouldn’t be able to chill him. There, they told him, the cold couldn’t make him human, and in the end, that’s what he wanted.Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-8665000854270860262008-09-20T17:25:00.000-07:002008-09-20T17:29:13.144-07:00Blue Whale Photographed for the First Time in Irish Waters<p>A Blue Whale was photographed for the first time off of Ireland's County Kerry coast. Amaetuer whale-watcher Ivan O'Kelly didn't realize the importance of his snapshot until he sent the photograph into the Irish Whale and Dolphin Group (IWDG). O'Kelly, from Dublin, was on board an albacore tuna fishing vessel when he saw what he thought was a large fin whale.<br /></p> <div class="story-quote clearfix wrapper-101"> <span class="corner-top"><span></span></span> <div class="wrapper-body"> <blockquote class="np-quote-detail" cite="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2008/09/18/eawhale218.xml"> "It was colossal, like an oil tanker beside you. It was intimidating," he said.<br /><br />"But we didn't know at the time we were looking at a blue whale." <p>"It was certainly one-and-a-half times the size of our boat," he said.</p> <p>"It had a speckled back, and was very fast moving, fast swimming and very muscular.</p> <p>"I never realised how impressive these creatures are. It was mind-blowing. It really was a very unique experience."</p> <p> </p></blockquote> </div> <div class="wrapper-footer"> <p class="np-quote-link">Source: <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2008/09/18/eawhale218.xml" class="story-source">telegraph.co.uk</a></p> </div> <span class="corner-bottom"><span></span></span> </div> The planet's largest animal, the Blue Whale was dangerously close to extinction due to unregualted whaling practices, but in 1966 the international community passes a series of laws to protect the animal.<br /> <span class="corner-top"><span></span></span> <div class="wrapper-body"> <blockquote class="np-quote-detail" cite="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2008/09/18/eawhale218.xml"> Padraig Whooley, IWDG sightings co-ordinator, said blue whales have been sighted three times in the last three days. Previously there had only been one validated sighting in Irish waters in the last century, he said. <p>"It is one of three things," said Mr Whooley. "Either they were there all the time and no one is seeing them or their population is growing or they have had a slight shift in distribution and are moving in shore.</p> <p>"This sighting will have not just Irish or EU significance - it is of global importance," he added.</p> </blockquote> </div> <div class="wrapper-footer"> <p class="np-quote-link">Source: <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2008/09/18/eawhale218.xml" class="story-source">telegraph.co.uk</a></p> </div>Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-25255711478003805502008-09-20T17:15:00.000-07:002008-09-20T17:30:11.671-07:00Stars and Stripes on the Puck: Hockey's New AttentionA recent resident of Canada, I saw my first ever hockey game last February in the Thunderbird Stadium at UBC and though I haven’t since devoted a better part of my personal worth to the sport, I can see how one might want to. The roughness and immediate gore combined with the chilly stadium air are exhilarating, but more than anything, it’s the devotion hockey players have for the sport that I find most intriguing.<br />As an American, I have always seen hockey as a standard of Canadian culture and so when Sarah Palin, from further north than Canada, proudly calls herself a “hockey mom” I feel a bit confused.<br />In the past, the American politician has called upon the noble everyday ethics of American football and baseball maybe even basketball to flesh out their image, but never hockey. And in turn hockey as a sport doesn’t want to be aligned with politics. Notice the hilarious hockey mom parody of 2004’s Swift Boat Veterans for Truth campaign, "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URIypadX3n0" target="_blank">Hockey Moms for Truth</a>" and you will get a sense of this wanted detachment and then there’s Slate.com’s Bruce Reed’s writings to consider as well.<br /><div class="story-quote clearfix wrapper-101"> <span class="corner-top"><span></span></span> <div class="wrapper-body"> <blockquote class="np-quote-detail" cite="http://www.slate.com/id/2199720/"> <p>But after a few weeks under the media spotlight, the hockey world is starting to remember why we preferred our rinks dimly lit in the first place. Stu Hackel, <a href="http://slapshot.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/09/01/the-morning-skate-is-sarah-palin-the-universal-hockey-mom/" target="_blank">a hockey blogger for the New York Times</a>, wrote a long post recently on how much he resents the game being dragged into politics and used as a pawn. Several readers agreed -- and chided him for dragging politics into a hockey blog.</p> <p>Over at <a href="http://www.onfrozenblog.com/2008/09/04/sarah-swoons-the-nations-hockey-moms-among-others/#comments" target="_blank">OnFrozenBlog</a>, pucksandbooks tried to look on the bright side: "If you love hockey, how can you not like how hockey is being celebrated (associated with perseverance and toughness) in the rhetoric of 2008's political debates?" For readers, however, pride was tempered by grave concern about what the association with politics might do to hockey's reputation.</p> <p>In my experience, we hockey parents are already a little grumpy from ice times that are too late or too early. For many, the sudden attention just brings up the sore subject of how little respect the sport gets in the U.S. "You know hockey is never going to be better than the fourth major sport," one OnFrozenBlog reader lamented, recalling how ESPN's SportsCenter used to make fans suffer through golf highlights before getting around to the NHL.</p> </blockquote> </div> <div class="wrapper-footer"> <p class="np-quote-link">Source: <a href="http://www.slate.com/id/2199720/" class="story-source">slate.com</a></p> </div> <span class="corner-bottom"><span></span></span> </div> One also has to take into account that all the attention hockey is getting is associated with Governor Sarah Palin. I’m scared to think that Palin’s political aims will eclipse the true chilly gore that is hockey.Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-50103767613029715912008-09-20T17:14:00.001-07:002008-09-20T17:28:30.151-07:00Now- what?I've started work at an online news organization, not as exciting as the online women's audio erotic website, but the erotic industry is kinda flaky (as can be expected). Anyway, here is the link if you want to check it out. Though I will be posting my articles on here just to keep it all togethers.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.nowpublic.com/">http://www.nowpublic.com/</a>Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-80128778802178875482008-09-15T22:35:00.000-07:002008-09-15T22:37:30.298-07:00Something soon will be written. It's just that now I have my typewriter and modern day technology seems to be on the back burner.Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-2098100112854614312008-08-14T14:09:00.000-07:002008-08-14T14:17:53.063-07:00Faces<div style="text-align: left;"><blockquote></blockquote> She had little to do in her summer afternoons so She’d taken to studying murder cases and when She got too self-conscious about the librarians following her down the stacks She took up studying man-eaters. She had made it her summer goal to collect as many books on man-eaters as she could. She would walk into bookstores and say, “Man-eaters” instead of “Hello! Good afternoon! I like your shirt!” Tigers, sharks, obscenely large snakes; anything that Disney made evil She was rip-roaring to investigate. She especially liked large pictured books because then she would force herself to look at the attack photos. Spider bites were good ones because they tended to have a lot of puffy redness. They transformed the human body into something else, skin became gooey and limbs bloated and venom-logged.<br /></div> She was aware of the horror, She wasn’t desensitized to it, in fact She felt it very much, the slight turn of the stomach, the hair on end, the dry mouth because it’d been open too long. When She was reading and looking at these books She would get lost and forget what time it was and if She were wearing shoes. Man-eaters. It sounded like a bad all-girl eighties band name, but She didn’t care. She had long since overhauled that perception of the word and now all that came to mind was misshapen body limbs and cropped out faces.<br /> That struck her immediately. There were never any faces. It seemed that in all the pictures the faces of the victims would always be cropped out and there would just be their severed leg or stumpy bloody arm. She speculated there were no faces because they made it too personal. You would be able to see the tears running down their cheeks, the horror struck twitches and you would feel sorry for them. No, She wasn’t a sick freak like the librarian mildly and, in truth, indifferently suspected, She wanted to see the faces, more than the muscles and blood and strings of flesh, She wanted to see the faces.<br /> Her goal for August was to find a book that didn’t show the injuries at all, just the faces of eaten men.Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-74481152672528764972008-08-13T22:49:00.000-07:002008-08-13T23:17:31.406-07:00Ameeerica: Why I Come Home to You<span style="font-style: italic;">I recently returned home to the US and then I was even more recently researching on how to get back out again and I found this great concise description of America on a Teaching English as a Foreign Language website. I feel this every time I pass through customs- this and a pang for tacos and friends.</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9WhcEi9V_aFkKXp2sN41uZlDUr5phzoXhxPyghpFBRZi2P5ikfsEpeX1zhaCNx7M8XhoHL5Fq_Gc9x0U3Mb8l3BZ2LlmEh_oDy0epgJBAN0RWwoKSHMSL_XITDCFf6QIJ0JEMbdYluLM/s1600-h/Faith-in-America-Print-C10081266.jpeg"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9WhcEi9V_aFkKXp2sN41uZlDUr5phzoXhxPyghpFBRZi2P5ikfsEpeX1zhaCNx7M8XhoHL5Fq_Gc9x0U3Mb8l3BZ2LlmEh_oDy0epgJBAN0RWwoKSHMSL_XITDCFf6QIJ0JEMbdYluLM/s400/Faith-in-America-Print-C10081266.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5234249983668742738" border="0" /></a><br /><table border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tbody><tr><td valign="top"><div align="justify"> <span class="bluehdr11px">"About The USA</span></div></td> </tr> <tr> <td align="center" valign="top"><br /></td> <td valign="top"><div class="text11px" align="justify"> <p class="text11px">The US claims to be the greatest success story of the modern world - a nation fashioned from an incredibly disparate population who, with little in common apart from a desire to choose their own paths to wealth or heaven, rallied around the ennobling ideals of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence to forge the richest, most inventive and most powerful country on earth.</p> <p class="text11px">Despite polemicists who justly cite the destruction of Native American cultures, racism and imperialism at the top of a long list of wrongdoings, half the world remains in love with the idea of America. This is, after all, the country that introduced the world to the right to the pursuit of happiness, free speech, electric light, airplanes, assembly-line automobiles, the space shuttle, computers, blues, jazz, rock & roll and movies that climax at the high-school prom.</p> <p class="text11px">On a short trip, it can be hard work dismantling your preconceptions. So much of the country has been filmed, photographed, painted and written about that you need to peel back layers of representation to stop it from looking like a stage setting. This worldwide representation can make the country seem strangely familiar when you first encounter novelties like 24-hour shopping, bottomless cups of coffee, 'Have a nice day,' drive-thru banks, TV evangelists, cheap gasoline and newspapers tossed onto lawns. But you'd be foolish to read too much into this surface familiarity, since you only have to watch Oprah for half an hour to realize that the rituals and currents of American life are as complex, seductive and bewildering as the most alien of cultures.</p> <p class="text11px">Come prepared to explore the USA's unique brand of 'foreignness' rather than stay in the comfort zone of the familiar. You'll discover several of the world's most exciting cities, some truly mind-blowing landscapes, a strong sense of regionalism, a trenchant mythology, more history than the country gives itself credit for and, arguably, some of the most approachable natives in the world."</p> </div> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="2" class="toplinks" valign="top"><br /></td> </tr> <tr> <td align="center" width="4%"><br /></td> <td class="bluehdr11px" valign="top"><br /></td> </tr> <tr> <td align="center" valign="top"><br /></td> <td valign="top"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table>Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-15436741647985731852008-08-12T09:56:00.000-07:002008-08-12T09:58:29.472-07:00Family"So Mar and I did shrooms at the Beach Club."<br />"Really? The Beach Club?"<br />"Did you use the public grill?" my mother asks.Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-74707603897147344402008-08-11T12:01:00.000-07:002008-08-11T12:06:06.781-07:00SegwayTwo Segways roll by on the boardwalk and my brother and I are silent. They are rolling, there is nothing that can be said until they stop to rest.<br />"I think we should take a family trip. I think we should segwey cross country." I tell him.<br />"We would need a cause. No one traverses this great country of ours without a cause."<br />"Cancer?"<br />"No, umm... Glory. We should do Glory."<br />The Segways begin to roll again and my brother says he been watching a lot of the Olympics.Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-33543518005784894142008-08-10T11:09:00.000-07:002008-08-11T12:00:57.617-07:00Bukowski Notes<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiUngTx_gNKsZz1iY6HJbot18phtM0wh-R2BmwUKrFUVLqGEZxUD8iMu1ZnidwH3DI2y4w1HaA4WkmopDD-po9GIUL50oW1CmeFPt-HbI9bBp5qFbapb3CCFu56Nr_BfUmQAChzpa3-uI/s1600-h/Bukowski.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiUngTx_gNKsZz1iY6HJbot18phtM0wh-R2BmwUKrFUVLqGEZxUD8iMu1ZnidwH3DI2y4w1HaA4WkmopDD-po9GIUL50oW1CmeFPt-HbI9bBp5qFbapb3CCFu56Nr_BfUmQAChzpa3-uI/s400/Bukowski.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5232954809520459010" border="0" /></a><br /><br />"Please close your robe!"<br />"There, " I said, " You see?"<br />"I know I see. That's why I asked you to close it."<br />"All right. Shit."<br />I very reluctantly threw the robe over my genitals. Anybody can expose their genitals at night. At two p.m. in the afternoon it took some balls.<br /><br />Bukowski "Nut Ward Just East of Hollywood"Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-66666640001396949992008-08-03T19:41:00.000-07:002008-08-03T19:47:39.093-07:00Notes from the AlbionToday in the bookstore, a man named Javier called me Yessie and wanted to see the Bible in the window. I think he was very lonely because he came back an hour later and still didn't buy anything. I didn't mind, because this city can be lonely sometimes and I understood. I think it's because of the mountains so close by, they tend to separate us and strike us with a silent awe not very conducive to social undertakings. Javier thought it was because of his accented and punctured English.Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-87578925265878680802008-08-03T19:22:00.000-07:002008-08-03T19:38:37.733-07:00Thoughts on Home: BrigadoonMy mother when she lived in the outskirts of town would take the freeway through a divot in the San Diego hills and fall down the highway into La Jolla. Her friends and her, as the car gained momentum would whisper over the dashboard, "Brigadoon", as if they were reading an unseen road sign that marked the city limit. The Scottish town is said to only appear once every hundred years, but for all they could do, my mother and her friends could never make La Jolla disappear. Every morning the marine layer would burn off and La Jolla would still be there, shining like the quintessential jewel, or pot, depending on your translation of the Spanish.Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-16096961644812648822008-07-27T09:44:00.000-07:002008-07-27T09:48:12.182-07:00Reindeer Games<span style="font-style: italic;">This is a short play I wrote at the beginning of the year- it was performed at a UBC players</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">event in March '08 (I think). Megan Gilron played Charlotte and Brendan Albano played Ben. They were awesome and this would be really outlandishly terrible if it weren't for them. Thanks guys! </span> <br /><br />CHARLOTTE: What time should Brennan and I be over?<br /><br />BEN: Oh, I’m not sure… seven or eight? Call Allison, she’ll know.<br /><br />CHARLOTTE gives him a look.<br /><br />…B: What? I do the cooking and she does the planning. Oh! I should get that duck all dressed before three.<br /><br />C: What’s on the menu for tonight?<br /><br />B: Mussels in a white wine sauce, pureed heirloom carrots with this rich sage giblet gravy and duck a l’Orange.<br /><br />C: There is nothing green on that menu. Have you ever heard of light cooking?<br /><br />B: No. I don’t like light. I like heavy, dead things that need to be eaten with teeth, raw meat. Mmmm.<br /><br />C: Ugh. Stop pretending you’re a cave man.<br /><br />B: Stop pretending you’re a hippie.<br /><br />C: Wait a minute. I always thought I was the “control freak”. Don’t those two stereotypes conflict?<br /><br />B: Well if we are going to be particular, I believe the term was “skin-peeling, child-hating, clock-sucking control freak”.<br /><br />C: That reminds me, Mother wants to know what day you can do the dinner party for her and her friends?<br /><br />B: Oh God. That’s right. I said I’d do that.<br /><br />C: They really loved it last time.<br /><br />B: No they didn’t.<br /><br />C: But Mother said her friend… oh I can’t remember her name, the one with those ridiculous glasses. Mother said she was raving about it.<br /><br />B: She was just being old and nice. They didn’t like anything. They didn’t even touch my duck confit.<br /><br />C: That’s because it was pure fat.<br /><br />B: It was pure delicious!<br /><br />C: That’s what I’m talking about Ben. Everything you cook is so heavy. Not everyone should eat that way, especially all the time, especially you.<br /><br />Ben’s mouth is full so he can’t respond right away.<br /><br />…C: My point exactly.<br /><br />B: Well, at least I enjoy my food.<br /><br />C: I enjoy my food immensely. Look what deliciousness I found for an appetizer. This is great stuff and it won’t weigh you down.<br /><br />B: I want no part in it!<br /><br />C: Sunflower pate.<br /><br />B: Is this what you’re bringing tonight?<br /><br />C: Yes.<br /><br />B: You’re going to serve me flower paste? Why wouldn’t I just go chew up the garden? It’d probably be cheaper than… thirty six dollars! That’s ridiculous! How could you spend thirty-six dollars on flower paste?<br /><br />C: It’s organic and local.<br /><br />B: That just means the guy in the back scrapes off the bottom of the break room lunch tables and puts it in a little jar to sell at some ridiculous mark-up.<br /><br />C: No it doesn’t. Wait till you taste it tonight, you’ll love it! It tastes almost like cheese.<br /><br />B: Then why wouldn’t I just eat cheese?<br /><br />C: Because I’m not bringing cheese, I’m bringing sunflower pate. You can go buy yourself some cheese and eat that instead if you are so incline.<br /><br />B: Cheese pales in comparison to what I have to serve.<br /><br />C: What is it? Is it a jar of lard? Because that wouldn’t surprise me.<br /><br />B: That was… that was quite mean.<br /><br />C: I know. I apologize- I thought it would come out wittier. What is it?<br /><br />B: Reindeer Paté.<br /><br />C: No!<br /><br />B: An indulgent winter treat.<br /><br />C: No!<br /><br />B: Artic Delicacy.<br /><br />C: There is no possible way.<br /><br />B: Farm raised relative of Rudolph!<br /><br />C: It does not say that.<br /><br />B: Yes it does. Right on the label. Great huh?<br /><br />C: Give that to me!<br /><br />B: See, right there.<br /><br />C: You are not using this?<br /><br />B: Oh yes. Look, I even bought a little reindeer cookie cutter so I could plate it all festive!<br /><br />C: That’s sick.<br /><br />B: It’s funny.<br /><br />C: I can’t believe you purchased this!<br /><br />B: What? I heard about it on that cooking show and the guy said it was delicious. It’s from Sweden.<br /><br />C: First off, to get this, they force fed a reindeer. Just think about that for a moment. Secondly, this little can has a gigantic ecological footprint. You are practically consuming a barrel of fossil fuels when you eat this. Thirdly, do you know how fatty this is? You may not care about the environment but at least care about your own health. You’re going to develop diabetes because there is…<br /><br />B: No, I am not.<br /><br />C: …Type II, adult onset diabetes that could degrade into all types of things. Gangrene…<br /><br />B: Charlotte, it’s ten to three, I have to go and dress the duck.<br /><br />C: …blindness. You’re going to go blind!<br /><br />B: I’m not going to go blind if I eat reindeer pate. I’m going to home now Charlotte.<br /><br />C: Alright, I’ll see you tonight.<br /><br />B: Charlotte- the pate.<br /><br />C: I’ll call Allison to get the time.<br /><br />B: Give me the goddamn pate Charlotte.<br /><br />C: Ben, this is diabetes, heart attack, stroke… death! This is death in a tin Ben. And as your sister, I can’t let you consume it.<br /><br />B: Charlotte, I’m not going to eat the whole fucking thing by myself. It’s going to be an appetizer, to share with everyone.<br /><br />C: No… well… it’s just…<br /><br />B: (mumbles) I would like nothing better right now than to eat your liver, one shank at a time.<br /><br />C: Excuse me?<br /><br />B: Nothing. Just give me the box.<br /><br />C: Wait, no. You just said you wanted to eat my liver?<br /><br />B: No. I said I want the box.<br /><br />C: Eat my liver one shank at a time? That’s disgusting. You’re disgusting! You know that?<br /><br />B: Give me the box.<br /><br />C: Where did that even come from? That’s disgusting!<br /><br />B: Give me the box.<br /><br />C: No. You just said you wanted to eat my liver! You are most certainly not getting this death tin back. And I was just about to give it to you but then you said you wanted to eat my liver. So, NO!<br /><br />B: Charlotte- For Christ’s Sake, Give me the goddamn box!<br /><br />C: At least think of your health Ben.<br /><br />B: Fuck my health! Give me the box!<br /><br />C: Fine then! Take the box! (throws it at BEN) We’ll just have to buy the extra, extra large coffin for when you die of obesity! <br /><br />B: You think I’m such a fat-ass? You think I’m such a despicable human being! Fine then! (BEN opens the tin and begins to eat) I am! Does this fit your picture of a fat man? Does this make you feel good about yourself? Mmmm… Delicious! You’re really missing out here Charlotte, because this is the best damn reindeer pate I have ever tasted! {pause} Uhh…uhhh… Oh God! I don’t feel too well.<br /><br />C: Ben?Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-24368892921894504032008-07-27T09:39:00.001-07:002008-08-03T19:40:43.598-07:00Thoughts on Home: Desideratoque Acquiescimus LectoCatullus wrote that the best part of traveling was the act of coming home. Of rounding the corner and seeing your home with the front door wreathed and the curtains drawn. The chance to get back into your own bed- to peel your sheets back and squeeze yourself into the comfort and smell of your own room.<br />My feet hang off the edge of my bed, which I remembered as being a lot taller. Catullus didn’t take that in account, that when you’re away from home for a long time your world enlarges. It gets harder to duck your head below door frames and force yourself into rooms. You want to open windows and doors, hang mirrors so it seems bigger, but more than anything you want to just leave again.Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-54116635552370489642008-07-27T09:26:00.000-07:002008-07-27T09:27:48.743-07:00The Cremation of Sam McGeeTHE CREMATION OF SAM McGEE<br /><br />There are strange things done in the midnight sun,<br />By the men who moil for gold;<br />The Arctic trails have their secret tales<br />That would make your blood run cold;<br />The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,<br />But the queerest they ever did see<br />Was the night on the marge of Lake Lebarge<br />I cremated Sam McGee.<br />(The poem's opening and closing stanzas)<br /><br /> -Robert ServiceCrabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-70870986278118775572008-07-13T18:48:00.000-07:002008-07-15T00:45:33.098-07:00Uninteresting II keep seeing dead mice in the yard where there are only leaves and I’ve been hanging out with people I don’t know very well. I’m amazed how sad people can make me feel, how happy. It occurred to me while I was listening to their lives speak, leaving watermarks on tables, that I probably seem like a most uninteresting person and it’s more likely that I not only seem uninteresting, I am uninteresting. This scares me more than public speaking. So does dressing in the morning, but that’s probably uninteresting.<br /><br /><br />I don’t know why I stopped writing poetry. I felt that in my work I had to show people something, because I wanted them to think I was interesting.<br />What do you do?<br />I knit pearl pink sweaters for my illegitimate daughter.<br />I make my own lingerie.<br />I photograph Ugandan orphans and with the proceeds from my photos I build designer iron clad bunk beds for them.<br />I started my own organic realty business.<br />Fuck me. I write? I try to write. I push keys and string together small symbols. I don’t do anything.<br />Oh, OK, well, OK.<br />Fuck me.<br /><br /><br />This is my fifth beer and I don’t even like beer. That’s not even true. This is my first, but I thought I’d try to make myself out to be an alcoholic. I’ve toyed with the idea of getting pregnant. Pass off the dilemma of personal worth to my someone else while gaining a purpose in life. I wonder if this is why we enjoy sex so much. And that makes me think, could I even find someone to impregnate me with a purpose?<br /><br /><br />That was rude, I apologize. I’ll try to keep myself to myself. It’s just that the cats keep killing mice and leaving them in the yard and I bury them and my friends, who are funny and good-looking, watch me and call the mice Barry. And when my friends leave I keep seeing the dead mice in the yard where there are only leaves.Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-28563052446648839412008-06-26T13:16:00.000-07:002008-06-26T13:17:03.443-07:00To SuspendNEW YORK CITY: At the American Natural History Museum in New York City there is a life-sized model of a blue whale suspended from the ceiling of The Irma and Paul Mistein Family Hall of Ocean Life, the length of which spans nineteen metres, the size of a creature beyond the limits of gravity. Installed in 1969, the model itself weighs 21,000 pounds and appears to dive down into the bottom floor of the blue-lit hall. Depending on the day of your visit, there are hundreds of strollered children with snot on their upper lips crying and running and pulling at the hems of their parent’s exhaustion. In the large hall, the sound of people echoes with the recordings of ocean waves and gurgling water and can be deafening. But the whale, this huge figure, silently hangs there absorbing the commotion like a cloud: an animal cloud with slow blood. Looking up at the figure amidst the screaming and terrestrial thuds silences and centres you. When I’m by myself I find that this is the state that I strive for. I want to move through the streets of the city and ride on its subways absorbing and steady. I am no whale and terrestrial existence makes things far jerkier than the fluid movements of the ocean, but as I walk through crowds of scurrying people and sharp motion, I strive to swim and suspend.Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-4613962434702030562008-06-17T10:27:00.000-07:002008-06-17T11:09:20.133-07:00The Boy Killer of Bird RockOn a June night, that could have been December or August because months are simply names in Southern California, there grew a ballooning pool of blood on the sidewalk curb of Princess Street in Bird Rock, San Diego. There was even a small chunk of brain matter smooshed like wet egg noodles into a crease of the concrete. Thomas House had been killed. And Marcus Miller, Matthew Bankey and Carlos Fernandez were running to the only open space you can find in Southern California on this side of the border: the ocean.<br /> Eva was beneath the Eucalyptus tree outside her front door on her way to school when a SDPD patrol car pulled into the gravel driveway. Two officers hitched up their heavy belts as they slowly asked Eva if they may please speak to her mom and dad, mistaking Eva for an age much younger than eighteen. The police had knocked on the Miller’s door once before when after Mom screamed at Marcus for spilling an entire pot of Top Ramen down the gas stove, he threatened her with a kitchen knife. A concerned neighbor who could see his armed silhouette in the window notified the authorities. Still, Eva hadn’t become accustomed to the sight of police officers beneath her eucalyptus tree and she knew something was not right. Her mind became focused so intently on the present that it was as if she started to record the event; consciously filming it in her mind so she could remember it. Light and the way it hit the foot of her mom’s bed and entered her expanding pupil became important. Sound as well: the crumple of sheets and the officer’s deep shaven voices saying explanatory phrases like, “…gang violence…”, “Manslaughter in the first degree” ,“…Windn’sea Beach” and “…Marcus’ skate shoe”. Eva was secretly filming the scene from the kitchen drinking a glass of sour orange juice when it became quite clear to Eva the inextricable differences between her and her twin brother Marcus . Eva was standing in a well-lit, Mexican tiled kitchen in her beaten up saddle shoes drinking orange juice while Marcus was sitting in jail suspected of murdering his old neighbor whom he did karate with in fourth grade.<br /> Though this revelation had all of a sudden swept up into her head like wine or sugar, it wasn’t completely new to her. Eva and Marcus had never really gotten along. Even before they were born, Marcus was much too rough with Eva. The doctors in the emergency room were shocked to watch on the sonograph screen as Marcus somehow wrestled Eva and squeezed his way into the world with his umbilical cord wrapped around his sister’s neck. She was in an incubator for two week before she could go home and Mom says that’s why she has asthma and is so much frailer than Marcus. Marcus has never apologized.<br /> Eva has had many incidents where it should have become clear to her that her and Marcus were not meant to view each other as human beings. There was one she filmed in her mind’s eye much like she was doing now in the kitchen when they were at Horseshoe beach where the waves crash big and hard right on the sand. Marcus was with some ratty friends of his and Eva wanted to go boogie boarding with them. Mom said it’d be fine as long as Marcus kept an eye on her. The trick was not so much to ride the waves but rather avoid the pummeling you would receive if you attempted to ride one. Eva was good at this because she’d bob up and down with the smooth swells way on the outside. Marcus and the boys were closer in chucking seaweed at each other and ignoring Eva (which wasn’t hard to do), until Marcus reached out to her, “Hey sis, check this out.” They were nine years old and Marcus had never before called his sister “Sis”, and because she was nine years old, Eva was naïve enough to think that Marcus actually meant it. Her smile was big and salty as she paddled closer to the gang of boys. “Dude, look down there- there’s a dead shark,” Marcus pointed. Eva looked down through the green water and he wasn’t lying. There floating just above the ocean floor was the white up-turned belly of a small sand shark no bigger than but just as vulnerable as a human thigh. It was swaying gently in the undercurrent swells like Eva was swaying on the surface. Perhaps he had planned it all along, perhaps the “sis” embarrassed him, or perhaps because the shark and Eva looked so much alike just then, but suddenly Eva’s head was plunged closer to the dead shark. The pressure and salt stung her eyes and her lungs after the first few seconds began to tighten. She could feel their capillaries in her chest crack and throb. She tried kicking up at the water but quickly found the foam of her brother’s board and his fingers tangled in her hair pushing down on her head. Through all her thrashing panic, she couldn’t not watch the silent shark. As the hand continued to push and as she gradually lost the need to fight back uselessly she calmly thought to herself, “I don’t want to float like that, way down there. I don’t want to.” She didn’t have to. Without the pressing foam of Marcus’ board or his forceful hand she bubbled up to the air, gasped in the salty air and swam quietly to the shore. Mother couldn’t do anything to punish Marcus anymore and so Eva didn’t go and whine to her, she simply sat in a ball in the sand and watched the white water suck at the sand. She should have known Marcus meant nothing by it. And she should have known to drop him completely then and there, but it took nine more years and a boy’s brain matter caked into the tread of Marcus’ shoe for Eva to completely give up on her brother.<br /> Her mother on the other hand was helpless. After the officers left, Mom got on the phone to cry. She called Gram and Grandpa and told them she needed help. They would meet up downtown. Then, away in her bedroom, thinking Eva couldn’t hear, she called Dad in Florida and blamed him for everything. It wasn’t a long conversation.<br /> The police station had speckled tile floors that looked dirty and green fluorescent light that showed all the dirt. Gram and Grandpa were there already drinking sour coffee out of Styrofoam cups in the waiting area. There was also a man in a suit standing beside them looking tanned and serious: a lawyer. Mom cried a lot and hid her head in Grandpa’s shoulder. The same officer from their gravel driveway and eucalyptus tree took them all to a holding room. Even before they entered, Eva knew Marcus would be behind the solid gray door sitting in some wooden chair, his head drooping, his eyes maybe red. And he was. But the bright orange suit they had him wear strikingly strayed from Eva’s film image and mocked the severity of his crime. Mom was sobbing and her whole face looked translucent with the salt water streaming from her eyes when she asked if she could hug him. With a stern but defeated grasp she hugged her child. It was a long hug and no one said anything.<br /> Eva watched her mother cry onto the bright orange fabric couldn’t imagine loving someone that much and somewhere in the film she was making in her mind there is spliced a scene where she has dark hair tied up in a bun and she is standing over a white crib in the sunlight of a blue baby room. It’s a boy who breaks things or kicks other babies or simply doesn’t smile and she wonders if she could love him. Could she love anyone like that? She’d be either a saint or stupid. And with the maternal gene of her baby room blurring into the image of the speckled tile prison, Eva saw her mother as both saintly and stupid.<br /> When the officer asked them to wrap things up, Eva was the first to leave and she waited in the hall. She wasn’t going to float belly-up in pity for her brother. She reasoned that it wasn’t her responsibility.<br /> The officer described to the mom, grandparents, tanned lawyer and Eva the events of June ninth in stark detail. Apparently, Thomas House had been at Windn’Sea Beach earlier that afternoon surfing when he cut off Carlos Fernandez. Matthew Bunkey and Marcus Miller were surfing there as well and started verbally harassing Thomas House. House exited the water. Miller, Fernandez and Yankee followed him in and continued to verbally harass him. The taunting almost became violent until a local lifeguard stopped it. Both parties were made to leave the beach by different staircases. Later that night Thomas House was at the bar, The Shack, on Nautilus Street. Miller, Fernandez and Yankee entered the bar intoxicated and began to physically harass House. House retaliated and injured Yankee’s left eye. All four males were ejected from the bar at about eleven fifteen. House, who lived walking distance from the bar in his mother’s rental on Princess Street, was walking home when Miller, Yankee and Fernandez attacked him. House refused to retaliate and a witness who saw the event from their kitchen window says that Yankee and Fernandez, after the initial attack, refrained from any further violence against House. Miller, on the other hand, repeatedly pummeled the victim. When House had fallen to the sidewalk Miller then repeatedly kicked the victim. At a certain point, Miller grabbed House by the shirt and threw him down on the sidewalk. The angle at which House hit the curb split open his skull at the base of his neck killing him instantaneously. The fracture was so large and the impact so forceful, the back lobe of the victim’s brain was spattered onto the sidewalk. It is then that the officer suspected that Marcus got the brain matter on his shoe. Miller, Fernandez and Yankee fled the scene after realizing the victim was dead. Early the next morning the suspects were called in on a Disturbing the Peace violation at Windn’Sea Beach.<br /> The room was silent. There was nothing the Miller family could say to defend themselves.<br />Eva tried to turn her mind off of the film, turn it to numb nothing, but she wasn’t able to. It kept recording and at the same time replaying in her head. It made her up-turned palms white and her thin wrists heaved with blood. The images kept playing and kept coming into her head. She remembered Thomas House had a trampoline in his backyard and mom always told her not to jump too high or she’ll fall off and break her head. And the springs squeaked and squeaked in rhythm when they jumped on it and Marcus’ fists kept squeaking and squeaking the same way and the trampoline springs squeaking and squeaking like the blood in Eva’s wrists squeaking and squeaking and then a foot into a soft stomach squeaking and squeaking and squeaking and then the trampoline stops. And kids run away.<br /><br /> * * * * * * * * * * *<br /><br /> There was nothing they could do at the station so Grandpa told Mom, Gram and Eva to go home and rest. Mom didn’t want to go but she folded quickly and within the hour, we were pulling into the gravel driveway with the eucalyptus hanging over our heads. Gram started baking because that’s what she does when she’s nervous and Mom with her translucent face sat at the kitchen table to watch her. Eva sat across from Mom and asked her if she wanted water. She didn’t see her and said no thank you. The sky outside was covered with a thick marine layer and the grayness seemed to slip past the dry grass outside and into the kitchen. They were all quiet until Eva asked if she could go for a walk. Mom looked at her and thin-lipped said, “Yeah, Eva.” She said, “Thanks Eva.” Eva said nothing and on her way to the door went to hug her. Mom felt limp in Eva’s arms but she still held on. It was as though Mom was sighing, exhaling and drifting away, but with the last of her air she whispered to Eva, “Love you.” She thought her mother was stupid for exhausting herself over a son who didn’t deserve it.<br />Eva closed the front door. She had wanted to walk towards the ocean and found herself three miles away at Windn’Sea beach. She wasn’t quite sure how she got there. The gray sky was thicker the closer to the water and Eva could feel the pressure tighten on her ears. She sat in a ball in the sand and watched the swells.<br /> The movie in her head slowed its playing and she was able to relax her mind from focus. She saw the reef wasn’t snagging any waves and the grass roof shack on the beach looked tired. The palm trees above the cliffs were catching the off shore wind and their fronds were swaying back and forth like a sea anemone would do in the water’s current. Eva felt the wind like a current around her knees and she slowly started to sway in its cradle. Marcus didn’t come to the beach for this reason she thought to herself. He came to tag the rocks and drink and smoke and fight. She swayed. She couldn’t love a person like that or anyone who could love a person like that. Again she swayed. It’s naïve to trust someone like that. She was floating in the current. It’s stupid and dangerous and she couldn’t stand that she was even related to Marcus Miller. The current bumped and she bumped with it. She wouldn’t stand in the way if he had to be put to death for his murder, no she prayed that he would be killed for his murder. She could feel from her rigid teeth to a deep pit in her stomach that something heavy was growing and hardening. She came to firmly hate her brother, the boy killer. Eva was now floating just above the ocean floor belly-up in the current, vulnerable and pale and even if she wanted to reach the surface thrash against the water, there she stayed, hating the boy killer.Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-89812667341448704512008-05-06T23:58:00.000-07:002008-06-17T11:12:28.261-07:00Editingediting is like dieting or cleaning your closet, you wonder if you can ever get good at itCrabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-7285742505001192122008-05-05T09:24:00.000-07:002008-05-07T00:03:10.328-07:00cinquain<div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Once was<div>a heathen in<div>my backyard. Goat scales</div><div>on her legs, turquoise feathered hair</div><div>no smile. </div></div>Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2214902960683182550.post-40955278031418901022008-05-05T09:13:00.000-07:002008-05-05T09:28:47.249-07:00Murakami'sWords"When I was little Grandpa told me stories about Buddha's disciples. One of them was named Myoga. The guy was a total moron and couldn't memorise even the simplest Sutra. The other disciples always teased him. One day the Buddha said to him, 'Myoga, you're not very bright, so you don't have to learn any Sutras. Instead, I'd like you to sit at the entrance and polish everybody's shoes.' Myoga was an obedient guy, so he didn't tell his master to go screw himself. So for 10 years, 20 years, he diligently polished everybody's shoes. Then one day he achieved enlightenment and became one of the Buddha's greatest followers. That's a story Hoshino always remembered, because he's thought that had to be the crappiest kind of life, polishing shoes for decades. You've got to be kidding, he thought. When he considered it new, though, the story started to take on a different undertone. Life's crappy no matter how you cut it."<div><br /></div><div> -Haruki Murakami; <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Kafka on the Shore</span> </div>Crabtree Writing Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05090327594461295079noreply@blogger.com0